How to start a game!

The following is a couple of weeks old, but i wasn't sure if this had penetrated in US rugby news.

Before the Wales Vs All Blacks game there were rumors that the Welsh would have some sort of response to the Haka.
There was no dance-related response, but this is the way to face off versus the All Blacks, or any other team.



Pity in the end the sheep-shagging, daffodil-dicked, leek-munchers couldn't put the ball across the 'Blacks line all game and lost by three scores!

Injury and Apology

So, I know it has been about a two weeks since I have posted, and for that I apologize.

In a shitty game versus Savannah on Nov. 15, I fucked my left knee and haven't been around rugby since. As a result, I didn't feel it correct to write about my team when I haven't been around practice or other related activities.
Actually, my knee isn't as bad as both I and the Athletic Trainer on the side of the pitch first thought, but it's still not great.
I have torn my MCL, but not completely, so it will heal itself.
When I first hurt it I thought about writing a log of my recovery over the weeks, but since I should be back on the field in 8-10 weeks and there is no surgery involved, it simply wouldn't be that interesting.
Also, I think this was just an excuse to post pictures of my X-rays. I love X-rays of my left knee because I have two huge screws in it from the first time I killed it when I was 17.
Since I hurt myself I have thought about several topics, however they just didn't seem worthy of my time.

I was going to write about Scotland playing in the Fall Test Series -- but how many times can you write that Scotland played up to the standard of superior opposition and still ended up losing... oh yeah and conquered the might of the maple syrup-eating, Mounty-lovin', rugby-suckin' Hosers from America's toupee.

I was also going to rant about people making fun of the size of my crutches -- but even railing against that gets old!

Anyway, I am back... if you care.

IRB asks about ELVs

Those thoughtful folks at USA Rugby sent me a lovely letter this morning. Unlike many of them, this one was fairly interesting and is discussing, yet again, the Experimental Law Variations (ELVs). They are looking for an opinion on the impact they are having, or lack thereof.

Obviously they have not been paying enough attention to The Olde Grey Thistle Fest whose online poll showed the overwhelming belief that they have, as they were intended to do, opened up the game.
The poll also showed a great love and affection for those guys with whistle. God Bless You, Sir!

Dear USA Rugby Members,

As a valued member of our Union, I would like to offer you the opportunity to take part in an important research study being conducted by the IRB into attitudes toward the Experimental Law Variations (ELVs), which are currently being trialled.

The study is being conducted across 14 individual unions worldwide. The objective of the study is to gather the opinions of players, coaches and officials on the ELVs. The findings from this study will feed directly into the IRB’s review of the ELVs in early 2009.

For the purposes of this study the research is being conducted by TNS mrbi, an independent market research based in Dublin, Ireland. The TNS group has a strong track record in providing valuable research for many of the world’s leading sports organizations, including The Premiership (in the UK), UEFA and FIFA.

You may be selected to take part, and if contacted, USA Rugby would very much appreciate if you participated. The research will involve an online survey that will take approximately 10 minutes to fill out at a time and place convenient to you. The views of each individual taking part in the study will be merged with the views of all other respondents in a final report – individual views will be maintained as absolutely confidential. The survey therefore represents an ideal opportunity for you to express your views, in the knowledge that your identity will never be disclosed.

Should you wish to opt-out from being contacted for this survey, please click here to have your information removed from the pool of participants by Monday, November 17. Your name will then be removed from any list that will be forwarded onto the research agency to take part in this study.

As with all TNS mrbi research, this study will be conducted in accordance with the Code of Conduct of ESOMAR, the World Association of Opinion and Market Research Professionals. You will only be contacted to take part in this specific study and will not be contacted again by TNS mrbi in relation to any other studies without the prior agreement from our organization. Please feel free to view USA Rugby’s complete Privacy Policy.

Many thanks in anticipation and kindest regards,

Kristin Richeimer

Director, Membership Relations

Nicknames

So I was having a look at a certain rugby message board today and was bored by the names I saw there.
I'm not saying I thought more people should post things, I'm not saying I didn't want to see a particular name. I was just bored with the names.

It seemed to me that my rugby club is lacking in nicknames. Quality, original, funny nicknames that make the monotony of remembering each of the ugly, uninteresting bastards I play with a little more bearable!

So, I thought this would be the perfect space to write these things down and any reasoning behind them.

Obviously, in this space I have coined a number of Noms De Rugby for my friends.
- PunchedBaby
- Kvetch Silverstein/ Third Favorite/ Mr. Maccabees
- Krusty
- Stuffer

I just feel we need to make more of an effort for nicknames. I must add now, I will not give myself a pseudonym because that is what fuckwits do -- never give yourself a nickname! Can you hear me "Outlaw?!"

I will not attach names to these, but if you can't figure them out ask me and I will explain!
Anyway, I have a few suggestions, some of the references are dated, but isn't that the fun -- to drag up old, hilarious, things:
- Runyon Rougher (shortened to Rougher)
- BJ (hilariously shortened from Bob Jones)
- Bristols (Cockney rhyming slang: Bristol City = Titty eg "Check out the Bristols on 'er")

There are many more, but I have to work....

Palmetto Redux

So the Rhino's found themselves in the same position as usual Saturday, second in the state and second-best to Charleston.

Old Grey Vs. Greenville
After setting-off an hour too late (but at the scheduled time) OG had a tough start to the 2008 Palmetto Rugby Union's Tournament Saturday.
No time for warm-ups, or even to get a full side on the field, the options were to just get oin the field or forfeit. Despite calls from some idiots to roll-over, OG did the wise thing and got on the pitch.
Playing 15-10 for the first 10 minutes saw everyone's favorite Rhino-bemascotted team from South Carolina down an unconverted try.
Once the numbers evened up, OG got back to what they were doing in practice and retained the ball well.
Fortunate that G-Vegas' lanky Lock kicker couldn't convert cash to beer in a pub, OG were two points up coming into the final minutes. But in the style of his quality play all day, Boom-Boom fought through the Griffin back line to settle the tie.

Championship Game: Old Grey Vs Charleston
They kicked the shit out of us.
They were better drilled, better organized and controlled the ball masterfully.
Their big players, who I will not name, had big games -- as usual.
Though Columbia did themselves proud with an aggressive effort in the second half, the game was well-over by that point.

Special Mention: C of C
Just a quick note mention the great display of my alma mater The College of Charleston as their Men's side destroyed Clemson in their opening match of the tournament.
The final of the Men's College Tourney took place Sunday and I have not seen the final result, but in this single performance they showed how the side has greatly improved. Kudos Cougars... although you will be destroyed come Almuni Weekend Nov. 22!!!

Notes and thoughts from the weekend:
-- Old Grey need to be careful with its policies regarding less experienced players getting time on the field. Isn't the second half of an already-decided game the best time to get new guys on the field and learn how to play in real time? We have guys who are regulars at practice and on-the-road -- with the limited no.s Old Grey carries we should make sure we do not lose these dedicated people.
-- Looks like utility man Jimmy "Scruggs-Stuffer" Ready is going to be out until the Matrix pre-season with a rib injury. Though old as shit, Jimmy's grit and honesty will be a real weapon for Columbia when the real season starts. Although some of us don't see his talents best-used wearing double-digits!!
-- I think I'm done!

Scotland vs. New Zealand

Today I had planned to write something about the mighty Scots facing off against the All Blacks this Saturday in Edinburgh. However, after reading another blog in a similar tone written by someone who knows far more than me. I thought I would just link to him.

Read Rory's take on it at Scottish Rugby Blog which is always worth a read!

Election Update

Sorry friends but at this time it doesn't look like we were able to pull this one out. The official numbers on write-ins haven't all been released yet, but it seems as though no matter who is written, Strom II will have sneaked the election.

To all of America's Greatest Heros, I say thank you for all of your work, your votes and your energy -- this was a fine campaign run honestly, fairly and with the spirit of this great nation behind us!
I am glad that I ran a clean campaign focusing on the positives and did not stoop to the dirty tricks and attack-based outlook of the Solicitor-elect!

However, now is not the time to be divisive, we have to get behind Essie May's little brother and unite for the betterment of the Second Judicial Circuit and its residents.

Solicitor Circuit 2 - Results
Strom Thurmond Jr 60,512
Write-in 237

As I said the official write-in names have not been released, but I think it is unlikely that my recount request will be acted on.

Write-in Campaign - Vote Now, Vote Hard

Not happy with making a mockery of Olde Grey Rugby and the game in general, I have decided to take my (lack of) respect for the best things in life a step further.

As I write this (3:26 p.m. Nov. 4) I am waging a write-in campaign to become the Solicitor for South Carolina's Second Judicial Circuit! (SJC)

Genesis
When I got back to my desk from an interview yesterday, there was a voicemail left on my office phone from an unknown man.
He told me that he was going to write me in as his candidate for Solicitor over the only other name on the ballot -- James Strom Thurmond Jr.
(Solicitor is District Attorney for my Non-SC, Non-Brit readers.)
I have no idea who the caller was, or why he would decide that I was the one he was going to vote for, but one thing is clear-- he is America's Greatest Hero!!!

Democracy in Action
After i got the phone call I realized one thing -- I HAD BEEN CHOSEN BY GOD TO RUN!!!
My epiphany guiding me I set out to spread the word of Aiken, Bamberg and Barnwell Counties' residents of their new criminal prosecutorial god -- me!
When i say i let the residents of the SJC know, I mean I made fun of this idiot around my newsroom. Hearing the gospel/voicemail according to Crazyperson, several of my colleagues decided that they would join the charge!

Why Did God Choose Me?
Being part of the Liberal Media Elite, obviously, most of my newsroom are bleeding-heart, liberal lettuce-eating Commies.
Despite his family’s well-documented love for the dark meat, Strom II is running on the Republican ticket.
Looking for any reason to be contrarian to quality, responsible Government provided by Conservatives/Facists my fellow Journalists were looking for someone slightly to the left -- enter (potential) Solicitor-Elect Gellatly.

Victory Assured?
Admittedly there are still a couple of stumbling blocks before my rise to power and the $147k salary that goes with it (That's David Young money!!!).
Firstly, my campaign started late in the evening of Nov. 3rd.
Second, I am not sure that i qualify to serve as I do not live in the SJC, nor am I a citizen of The United States of America.
Thirdly, members of my own family do not know how to spell my name!


Vote Gellatly for a ridiculously corrupt Aiken, Barnwell and Bamberg!

Fucking Idiots

Several of my teammates seemed to get the wrong end of the stick regarding my Friday post about the "fight" between Vice-Captain Jon Stewart and General Soks.

Just for future reference when I post something with a picture of everyone's third-favorite Jew doing (insert name of whatever the fuck dance he was doing here) it is unlikely i am going to include that in a post about a fight.

Also, if the names of Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder tracks are highlighted or capitalized it is unlikely I am talking about a criminal act... unless its Jacko's 1998 hit "Aggravated Sodomy" -- then you will have to figure it out for yourself!

Infighting

Last night after practice a disturbing event took place, one that Olde Grey needs to stamp out if we are going to be any sort of team.

I'm sure most local readers have already heard, but there was a blowup between two Olde Grey members last night, one that came very close to ending in tragedy!

Setting the scene for The OGTF's foreign readers, a number of team members were out having a final beer with Joe Kerzan before his journey into death wedding on Saturday.

While at Jo-Jo's bar, something untoward happened. A fight broke out between Vice-Captain Todd and Brain "Soks".

The pair were thrown around the center of the bar, with many people just standing by and watching it happen. Someone really should have stopped this shit early!

It got really ugly, quickly. It was no Thriller -- just one Bitch getting Smacked Up.

In the end Soks was the clear winner, with Philly left lying, spinning on his back after Superstition could not help him!

I had to mention this. If we are to be a force in the Southeast, we need to stop this infighting. We are men of very different personalities, but we cannot be busting out are moves to beat each other down. It takes 15 to tango all years long.

Caption Competition

What on earth is Ms. Elaine Scruggs (R, with shirt) thinking or about to say in this picture?
Add your answer in the comments section and I will award the winner with fabulous riches!
Extra credit will be given (or taken away) for smart/funny use of the words ready or Ready!

















(Photo courtesy of Amy Catalino)

Dear Editor

(The following is a slightly twisted version of a letter to the editor, I believe, The Columbia Olde Grey should be sending to The State, Free Times and any other newspaper that will print it. The facts are not complete, but you get the jist.)

Dear Editor,

The concept of public property seems to have been lost in Bob Coble's City and the counties in which it lays and left one long-standing public organization without a home and without a place to play.

For the past forty years, Columbia has been ably represented in the field of sporting fair play by one team who enjoy a minor sport, but one that has brought a major benefit to the City.
Now, however, Columbia's only men's rugby team, your own Columbia Olde Grey, is scrambling around town, relying on favors simply to find a place to play.

Recently, Columbia's Parks and Recreation authority has deemed us unworthy of using one piece of publicly owned property on which we have paid for the pleasure to pay for and use for more than a year.
We are an organization in need, an organization that has been a stalwart good citizen and ambassador for not just Columbia but all of South Carolina. An organization that has been forgotten by those that are elected or employed to serve our needs.

In recent years, The Olde Grey have brought benefit to outweigh our mascot -- an African rhino.
Twice-yearly charity tournaments bring dozens of teams and hundreds of men and women to the city to play their sport, enjoy the City's entertainment, sleep in hotels before heading home with great tales of the warm reception in the Palmetto State's Capital.
Add to this the community involvement of an organization, who with the local Women's team, The Columbia Bombshells, have taken part in countless charity and community events. (We are the United Way's Tug-a-Plane Champions)

Despite our positive input, we have been left to train and prepare for our season on unfit surfaces, halves of baseball fields or at best begging and borrowing from schools.
We are not looking for a designated single-use space, we are not looking for some grand stadium, just a place where we can practice, play and (perchance) somewhere with a little light to help us play on as the nights draw in.

most faithfully yours,

The Columbia Olde Grey


( I know we have something of a field, but i feel an appeal of this nature is in order. Not only may it help our cause, but things like this do garner attention and may help raise our profile and some eyebrows of those who make decisions.)

(P.s. I will have something a lot more fun in the next couple of hours)

Rhino's bragg after win over Marines

Undefeated yet this fall, The Columbia Olde Grey continued their streak of wins Saturday crushing an understrength, though aggressive, Fort Bragg side.
Columbia dominated field position from the start of the game and rarely looked vulnerable.
The most positive improvement Columbia has seen so far this year is the emergence of some solid backline play that gained ground, points and the respect of the opposition.
The multiple drops and knock-ons committed the last time a Rhino team set foot on this pitch were long forgotten as Robert Bortins and his boys ran the show.
The game was opened up by a Kevin Dietz try fairly early on in the first half. However, it was in the second when solid work by Jimmy Ready, Bortins, and some scary looking Kenyan really split open a lagging Bragg defense.
The difference in this game, as opposed to many previous, was that the pace and skill seemed to make ground on each wave out to the wing, giving those hard-working forwards time to recover and retain the ball.
The eventual final score finished 29-3, although the score would have been higher if Colby the Kicker could kick.
Columbia scored five tries on the day, with Bragg's only points being gifted to them.
After opening up a lead Columbia were unable to slam the door on Bragg due to being down a man. Midway through the first half Columbia scrum-half Todd "Philly" Schuster was not getting good ball from a ruck. A frustrated, and very scary, Philly decided to unleash his Popey-on-spinach like strength and teach Fort Bragg a lesson.
An offending Marine was laying over the ruck, Philly sent a message by rearing back and thumping this brute with all the strength he could muster.
Luckily, the Marine was not injured and has been able to continue serving his country and defending Israel, however the force of Philly's blow is thought to have left some minor abrasions on a young butterfly on the Marine's back.
Philly was binned for the rest of the half.
Olde Grey may lodge an appeal because Todd says he was actually just floating a wave to his "friends" Blake and Lance who were skipping by at the time and the contact was incidental.
A 14-man Old Grey continued to play hard, however several players suffered injuries as a result of covering for Todd!
At the half Columbia led 10-3.

With several changes the home team quickly took advantage stretching Bragg.
The half, and the game, was capped off with the fourth try.
After some quality forward possession, the ball was spun out to the wing touching every back's hands at least once before being touched down in the corner by a looping Rob.
The game's result was never in doubt, but to hammer home their point it was another try by the free-flowing back line put an exclamation point on the game in the last few minutes.

Scoring summary (provided by Jim "Jesus was nailed to a" Cross):

12-Try- Dietz, not converted,
24- Try Hinks, not converted.
30- Brag Pen.
50- Try Jimmy, Colby converted.
58- Try Clemson Rob not converted
70- Try Barry, Colby converted.

Olde Grey Crocked list:
Foxy injured (1st half- Foot,Head)
Kremlick (Hamstring strain/Grease poisoning)
Young, Mark and Justin watched injured.
Joe Joe watched, was injured outside CJ's

R2 Showed up at the pub!

An honorable mention must be made to those valiant Olde Grey men who stepped on the pitch to help an undermanned Asheville side. Jason, Max, Foxy and I all tore up the pitch for an inexperienced Asheville side.

(Photos care of Hollie "I've touched Fuzzy's" Tripp)

Hiatus Over

Dear reader,

Just a quick note to say that The Olde Grey Thistle Fest will be back from its self-imposed break tomorrow, Wednesday, with a full match report from this weekends game.

We will also discuss some hot topics within South Carolina's premier Men's rugby club (in the midlands) including:
- The Philly Love-Tap Scandal -- What will Fort Bragg's official reaction be to one of their own being felt up in front of an audience... by a Jew. Don't ask, don't tell?
- The Neil Pitcher Discussion -- Is he English, American or just a cunt?
- Sixteen Men -- Did Jim Cross cheat on Saturday and do he and his partner, Kris, still want to make you "Jump, Jump"?

Cheers,

TOGTF

Hiatus

Dear OGTF readers,

Sorry for the lack of updates. As many of the locals who read this know my folks are in town from God's own country. During their stay, my dad has become seriously ill. As a result I have no time to update.

I will return and make fun of all of you soon,

Mike

p.s. I'm sad I don't have time for a real update, I've been looking for a reason to post pictures of a certain bikini-clad bombshell throwing up gang signs and a topless picture of some chick Philly tried (and failed) to bang!

Good Luck Saturday

Augusta Coming to Town

Saturday is a rugby day, according to the national anthem of Ireland, and Olde Grey have their first real opponent of the year rolling into town.
In this new section, Rucking Rugby will take a look at, and size up, Olde Grey's opponents and even make a bold prediction as to the outcome of the game.
First up to face the piss-poor backline of Columbia is old foes Augusta.
Saying old foes is difficult, because the bastards didn't show up the last time were were scheduled to face them!

Even without this lack of quality pre-season opposition, in the 2008 matrix the Mad Dogs were 7-1 in the regular season, only losing to Knoxville.
After which they reached the USA Rugby South final four and suffered losses to New Orleans and Jacksonville.

Now in the early stages of 2008/9 season, Augusta seem to be four players up on the Olde Grey, at least in the CIPP count. We currently have 15, while they stand at 19.
Although judging by their Web site they have the same amount of bitching and inactivity that we do, sans the bank bailout banter.

I'm sure we will have 30 guys turn up at the field on Saturday -- wherever the hell it is we are playing -- all looking for a game. Traditionally having a strong string of backs, Augusta may not be ready for the hard-grinding, fundamental/physical play of the Columbia pack.

Augusta's numbers will be bolstered by Tommy "Judas" English moving to their side.

The Mad Dogs have just acquired and new field site to call their own. I believe it will be named Thunderbird Park or 40 Field. What a good idea having your own facility is.

ARC

One Englishman down, 2 to go

So it is two training sessions until the Olde Grey face their first test of the 2008/09 season.
With Augusta coming to town, or just out of town depending on the pitch situation, it will be a real test to see if the back-to-basics style will pay off.
Also, it seems today that one of our own, Tommy English, has decided to play for Augusta rather than come out to practice and fight for a spot on a real rugby team.
We have a number of new guys so here is a primer.

Tommy is from a really scummy part of the world -- England -- and a really scummy part of that country -- any part. He seems to have been in Columbia for around 38 years and claiming he was on his way home for 37 of those.
He is 17-years-old.
An active member of the British Nationalist Party (KKK), Tommy makes Mussolini look Buddhist, although certain former long-hairs with stupid dogs still call him a "lefty."
Skinhead Tommy, as his slutty Grandmother calls him, has long been a feature of methadone clinics and 'roid distributors of central South Carolina.

Not just famous for having a brother who bags women from the Greek isle of Lesbos, Tommy was voted Columbia's least popular illegal in 2007 by the New York, and Free, Times.

Monday

Blogger and i are having issues this morning, so I cannot stay on long enough to write.
Instead, here is a great rugby-related post from a lesser blog.

From stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

#95 Rugby

f you’ve been in a white person’s apartment or home you might have noticed a ball that looks like a cross between an egg and a football. It is a Rugby ball and it is an important sport for white people.

They love Rugby for a number of reasons, the first of which is the fact that it is not very popular in North America. In fact, it is even less popular than soccer which gives a white person that all important edge in the contest to see who likes the most obscure sport. Though this is important, it is not the real reason why white people love the sport so much.

Rugby’s greatest appeal lies in its uniforms.

Unlike other sports where jerseys are made out of nylon or mesh, Rugby jerseys are like thick sweatshirts with collars! In fact there is no other jersey on earth that can move so seamlessly from the playing field to the farmers market

Many white people first acquire a love of rugby during their high school and college years by playing either for a school team or in the case of highly advanced white people-part of an intramural league. In fact, many white people will continue to play the sport into their early 30s at local parks on Saturday morning. If you are looking to expand your group of white friends, you would be wise to get yourself invited to one of these games. However, you should be prepared to have your crotch grabbed.

Though playing the sport is the most common way for white people to become interested in Rugby, a great number of them pick up a taste for the game while studying abroad in Australia or New Zealand. Like soccer, they are given the chance to purchase a scarf of their adopted team, but more importantly they can acquire a Rugby jersey. Unlike a soccer scarf, they can wear this garment all year long which provides for a more reliable trinket that can be used to initiate conversations about their time down under. For extra credit, some white people will declare that they are into Australian Rules Football and not Rugby. If you wish to friend this person, it’s best to ask them about the differences in rules because they will be thrilled to tell you.

Aside from playing the game with white people, there is one other surefire way to use rugby for your own personal gain. If you have determined that the white person you are talking to prefers rugby over soccer, it is strongly advised that you say: “you know, American Football players might be bigger, but rugby players are so much tougher.” Their response will be to tell you about how Football players are weak because they wear pads. This will be followed by a knowing nod or wink in your direction and an invitation to join them for a game on the weekend.

Good Luck Bombshluts

The delightful Columbia Bombshells play their in-state rivals this weekend, and its going to be a really tough test for the adorable, little lady ruggers.

With the rough, but still cute, sounding Charleston Hurricanes prancing their way up to Chapin, it really should be a quality day of ladies rugby.

Columbia has had a tough time fielding a team to play ladies rugby this season but their campaign seems to have gotten at least 15 cutesys out of their vacuuming, cleaning and cooking jobs duties -- but don't worry Gentlemen, it's just for the afternoon!!!

"I think it is going to be a lovely performance of ladies rugby," said Bombshells lady President Simone "Stumpy's Wife" Bontley. "I just hope I can get home in time to make dinner for my husband and that I don't start to "glow" an embarrassing amount. I think we have done well, as ladies, not to intrude on real Rugby -- that is men's -- by having our game on the Olde Grey's off-weekend. The least we can do is put on a performance for the Boys!"

With a winning percentage above .650 in the last two years, the lady rugby playing Hurricanes could be as difficult a task as Thanksgiving dinner!

But either way, the lighter side of the game of rugby will be displayed in its cutest way Saturday, so don't miss it.

Go get 'em ladies, and watch you don't break a nail!

Saturday Sept 27th Crooked Creek Park located at 1098 Old Lexington Hwy in Chapin, SC. Kick off (of a lighter, smaller, cuter ladies rugby ball will be) at 12:00 noon.

An Open Letter...

... to those who responded to yesterday's post.

Dear All,

I essentially agree with most of the criticizims I received yesterday, however, I am just burned out on these sort of initiatives.
USA Rugby comes out with these systems every few months and none of them have any real backing and any penetration they have is lost as they fall through.

Soccer has had great penetration in the US in the youth market, that is true. But, the lack of follow-through sees it die as soon as kids hit middle school.
My general point is we need an attitude shift within schools first and foremost. This would be far more beneficial than these sort of programs and may have a lasting effect.

Last year South Carolina had a great high school season -- with the mighty Spring Valley Vikings coming out on top -- but barely any of these schools recognized their teams.

This was an absolute disgrace! Every school should be ashamed of themselves!

I am not opposed to any youth action, and getting kids young is vitally important, but schools need to be much more of a target.
Yes, standing on the sidelines with a bunch of hot rugby moms would be great, but when all participation and passion for the sport stops at 11 what is the point?

School sports are, mostly, run by idiots who only care about football, baseball and basketball -- maybe cheerleading when they are spanking it. They are coaches not teachers. Getting these guys on board is essential for any development, that is why any effort should spend a lot of its time interacting with schools, showing them the benefits.

If that is not done, successfully, almost all other development is moot.

Go Rugby

Every few years it seems USA Rugby starts another attempt to grow the sport of rugby. Their next failure seems to be underway. Don't get me wrong i love the sport and hope it flourishes, but I am just sick of PR drives that amount to nothing! Anyway, the pres release is below, I have added comment where I feel it is needed. From USA Rugby BOULDER, Colo. – USA Rugby has officially launched its “Rugby for All” continuum, marking the first of several initiatives in the development pathway of USA Rugby players, coaches and referees. This is the third such scheme this decade to grow rugby, it is planned to miserably fail by Spring and a new initiative -- with no real world backing -- will be in production by June. USA Rugby’s "One for Rugby and"“Rugby for All” continuum has been developed to emphasize the breadth of opportunities in the game and promote rugby’s new image as a vibrant sport that centers around the core values of family, health, fitness and fun. and booze! “There is much more to rugby than the full contact 15-a-side game. The global game of rugby offers many versions flexible enough to suit all athletic abilities, ages and genders,” USA Rugby CEO and President of Rugby explained (I didn't mess with this, this is the title of some nameless person). “Contact or non-contact, seven-a-side to 15's, whether you are playing, refereeing, coaching or administrating, rugby truly is a game for everyone.” One of the most exciting developments in the "One for Rugby and"“Rugby for All” continuum is the introduction of a new non-contact youth initiative called Rookie Rugby , which will include players from under the age of six through 12 -- this is just a horrible sentence. Rookie Rugby is set to be launched in late October and will be supported by its own officiating and coaching course. “During the next 12 months, we have a strategy for growth that will expand the game significantly across the pre-high school sector, however after this it will once again shrivel and die,” Melville added. “USA Rugby must introduce the sport to increasingly younger players so they can develop the basic skills of the game and enjoy the many benefits rugby has to offer.” "This is B.S. and PR, we seem not to understand that real support for rugby is needed over the long haul, not just some new quick-fix, PR, flash-in-the-pan," Melville said, before sacrificing a virgin and drinking her blood from a goblet fashioned from a baby's skull. Supporting the "One for Rugby and"“Rugby for All” continuum, USA Rugby has developed officiating and coaching courses that support each level of the game and will also be promoting the online IRB Rugby Ready Course available on the USA Rugby website. "We have gone to the grass roots to frighten a whole new group of parents about this sport," Melville did not say. "Soon we hope to have a whole new arena for pushy parents to force their kids into and for those parents to spoil." For more information about the "One for Rugby and"“Rugby for All” continuum please visit www.usarugby.org or contact USA Rugby’s Youth Development department, Coaching Development department, or Referee Development department directly by clicking on the links. USA RUGBY, founded in 1975, is the national governing body for rugby and is a member of the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) and the International Rugby Board (IRB). The organization is responsible for the development of boys, girls, high school, collegiate and club athletic programs, and ultimately, all of the national teams representing the United States in international competition.

Not rugby, but a quality ad!

Good game, good game

So I pre-wrote a blog for today to talk about the Black vs Grey game we had scheduled for Saturday. Since the game went ahead without a hitch, I am going to post my comments.

It was so good to play Saturday, I really enjoy a warm-up game against my teammates. It gets the best out of guys to challenge, not just a faceless opponent, but the guy that wants their job.
Though the score ended up a little lopsided, 77 - 41, it was a game where we all showed our defensive prowess and organization. I am sure Augusta and them that follow will fear our solid back line, safe hands and technique.

Moments of note:

-- I think we were all stunned by Jim Roberts reemergence as an active rugby player, and I hope Ty pays up on that bet after losing that foot race. I must admit I never thought anyone would celebrate a try by tap dancing on the crossbar!

-- On a serious note, it was nice to see Kahuna and Scott Hunter put their differences behind them and play together. It made the day a lot less tense when Kahuna admitted the embezzlement had just been a prank and gave all the money back. Though he didn't smile that much, I think Scott thught it was a little funny when it sunk in.

-- A move for the future that will really benefit the team, I think, was Kremlick's move to prop. He really seemed to enjoy himself and his stony hands (which I believe he stole from the Fantastic Four's "Thing") were used for good when pushing the scrum.
"Why didn't i do this before, this is the best position on the field," Kremlick said while holding a small, white rat. "I am so glad I listened to all of Stumpy's advice, it has really helped me come out of my rugby shell!"

-- The one major positive that came out of the game was the quality turnout. It was as if we had advertised free beer at a local pub. People came out in their droves -- much appreciated.

All Blacks

Mike the Scot leaps into the 21st Cent.

Thank fuck for digital cable. I have been without it for nine months, but through its magic I got to watch the final game of the tri-nations. it was a real treat getting to sit back and watch 30 guys who know the rules of the game really playing the game so well.

What I think I loved most about the game, except that it simply qwenched my rugby drought, was the fact, not that the All-Blacks won, but in the way they won.

This Kiwi team is not what it has been. They are not the Lomu led monsters of the 1995 World Cup (I know they didn't win it but they killed people -- see Japan), they are not the Jordan/Pippen Bulls, the 1972 Brazilians (soccer) or anything else.
However, these guys are just winners with guts. they willed a win against Australia.

Just after the half they were down 7-17, but then within just a few minutes rattled off three tries. From there they played some gutsy, though not technically sound, defense and clung onto their lead for dear life.

Not disparaging the Kiwi's, but some of their individuals are not at the level they once were. The pack looked average at times, and -- although it is blasphemy to some -- Daniel Carter is not the player he was a few short years ago.

It is not the men who are superb, it is the team. They may be awful at winning World Cups but the key to international rugby is to take things one at a time (and win) -- not just to dribble on about the future. (Is there a message there for this year for the Olde Grey and its rapidly aging core?)

But anyway, all I really have to say is that it was great to see the real fighters win it -- even if these cunts have beaten my Scottish boys 24 times out of 26.

If you want to see some of the action here it is (with the best commentry in the world!)

Getting to know The Olde Grey

In the second installment of this feature, we will take a look at another member of the Justice League (Executive Committee). This will focus on our fearless leader -- Foxy.

Full Name: Matthew Queball Terwilliger Jeff Foxworthy, Jr.
Age: 46 3/8
Born: Intercourse, Pa
Occupation: Freelance unlicensed veterinary urologist/ Pharmaceutical Test subject

Matthew Foxworthy was born in Intercourse, though ironically his parents have never done the horizontal mambo-- or fucked.
He was the worlds first baby created through the use of a wooden fake vagina, a turkey baster and a catapult. The second baby born in this way (nine days later) was his identical twin brother -- actor Chris Tucker.

At an early age, Matthew showed that he was really going to excel at school when at only 17 years old he graduated Jnr. High. It only took six more years and some compromising photographs of Danny Ford for Matthew to be accepted at Clemson University (then known as Central Northern South Carolina Farm and Clown Community College).

After graduating Matthew learned of the Vietnam war and decided to become a conscientious objector and fled to Canada. Never having studied Geography or History, it was three years -- two spent in Tijuana -- that he learned the war had been over for 20-years and that Canadians did not speak Spanish nor would have had reason to employ someone as a donkey show janitor.

After returning to South Carolina, Matthew continued his (unpaid, unwanted) work with animals, though he has since moved away from (donkey) Show Business.

Unusual facts:
-- Foxy has four nipples
-- Foxy is one stamp on his loyalty card away from getting a free penicillin shot at the VD clinic
-- Foxy enjoys listening to his roommate banging overweight white girls
-- Foxy is allergic to sober women
-- Foxy's nickname is derived not from a truncation of Foxworthy but because he was Beyonce's understudy for the character Foxxy Cleopatra in the third Austin Powers movie.
-- Foxy discovered the element Bohrium

True Love

...sorry Foxy!

Reaction video

It's been several hours since I posted my negative thoughts about this weekends game against the USC babies. I have received several txts and emails about it so I thought I would throw up a response.
I feel the following video is an accurate portrayal of Friday's game.

A Scot Bursting with Pride

It's not my mutiny, I'm just an observer

So Since we have looked at the positives out of Friday’s game, I thought it was time to talk about some of the areas in which we need to improve.

Fitness
This one is me. I hate running, but I have been doing it because I feel I need to be a hell of a lot better this year. But the simple fact of it is that I, and others, was/were not any better than I/we were/was for last years 15’s matrix season.
We (in our own time) need to be doing more cardio, but at the same time we need to be doing more physical stuff, too. It was not the pace of the game that gassed me but rather the fact that no one has hit me (besides a few drunken skanks) and I have not hit anyone (see previous parentheses) in a long time. We have been having more physical training sessions, but there is nothing that compares to games.

Trombone
I found myself (and many others) doing things on the field that my high school coach would have made me lick his rim for doing. ( And yes, that sort of punishment is commonplace in the British public school system).
I think many of us were extremely rusty, that must account for a number of things. At times we were both timid and overly aggressive, we threw the ball away, we dropped it.


In his remarks on the message board Captain PunchedBaby was spot on. Outside of the first 10 minutes we never produced quality ball. USC was better drilled, passed the ball better, certainly caught the ball better and at no point did we ever put together more than one phase.
All week people talked about the game as a training exercise, but at no point did we attempt to try any set “training.”

Why did someone not stand up and say “Ok, we’re gonna get the ball, pound it twice and then swing it out. The next time we will set it up, pound it three times before we swing it out.”
That would have been training -- this was a clusterfuck of people who for some reason cared what the scoreline was (against, need I say it once more, -- a bunch of fucking kids) rather than working on our game.
Practice (for forwards) has been all about hitting the sides of ruck and using power, but we used very little of this Friday.

The only thing worse than my performance on the field on Friday was the fact that we wasted a golden opportunity to improve.
Like a night with a bar skank, it’s not about getting some, it’s about trying out your improve material to see the reaction it gets.
Yeah, like the skank, 70 minutes in the roofies kick in and we can do what we want (like run up the score or stick a rubber fist ...), but it’s more about what we do before that.

All in all, I think Friday was a waste and not because of poor play, but because there was no message from the sidelines about what we were trying to achieve. I don’t give a shit about beating USC, I do care about beating Charleston, Jax etc.
Olde Grey has had too many short term fixes, we need to be looking forward and getting better.

Rugby and mutiny

I'm just so sick of playing shitty rugby. How the hell do an experienced group of men lose to a bunch of fucking kids.

But anyway, I do not want to dwell on the bad, so today I am going to look at the positives that came out of Friday's game where the mighty Columbia Olde Grey took on The University of South Carolina's Rugby team.

Positives:
-- It was a nice night.
-- It got us out of the house.
-- My 19 month old daughter went pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty at the adjacent fitness center.
-- (Not directly related, but) Stumpy got some before the game, according to sources close to the situation. (By "the situation" I am not talking about Simone's baby hole!)

That is it, that is the list.

Words matter! Know your audience!

I am so pissed off about something utterly trivial. But I guess that is the point of the Blogosphere... so here I go.

ESPN can lick me from dirty crack to sweaty, syphilitic sack!

I am a regular watcher of PTI, Sportscenter and many other programs, but the laziness of their language, or just simple ignorance, gets to me more and more. I write this here because my anger is rugby related, or should I say related to the lack of respect towards our sport.

My exasperation focuses on one word: SCRUM.

Every time a loose ball falls to the ground, or a snap is fumbled or a train of synchronized swimmers fall into a mass of scissoring they use this word. Every time any unorganized rabble is doing anything they use this word.
This is bullshit of the highest order. But beyond that it is just poor journalism and, to be frank, borders on sports xenophobia.

A scrum is a highly organized, prepared, intricate set play in a game. It is the furthest thing from a fumbled snap.
For god's sake, if you want to know what a scrum is, ESPN, look at the snap on the football field, if that is not a (slightly-exploded) scrum, or at least ruck i don't know what is!

I understand that in a dictionary one of the definitions of scrum would be "A disorderly crowd" -- or words to that effects-- but these things are all about context.
ESPN does sports, so don't bastardize a perfectly useful sports-related word simply because it's easy and recognizable. Just try a little harder, get a fucking thesaurus if you need to.
And more importantly, don't abuse a word in this way that denigrates something else, especially not another sport.

The xenophobia comes in simply because rugby is not a big TV sport and so no one presenting on the big ESPN channels gives a flying fornication about my sport. Like soccer, rugby is laughed and and the names of players mispronounced because the anchors don't think it is relevant because it is foreign.

The fact is you can't call yourself the "Worldwide Leader" and not give a fuck about the second biggest sport in the world... or the first for that matter!

it's not tough, just find a different word and respect all sports.
We journalists are all about words, or we should be. Writing is the center of our craft.

Rant over.

i have apologies to my regular reader. I have been doing little real rugby related content. the fact is there is not much going on right now and I don't want to start talking about European club rugby because my core audience (both of them) will not care.
So, until the Olde Grey Season really kicks off I will be making fun of Chris "The Eternal Rookie" Henry, Matthew "if I buy you a drink will you touch it" Foxworthy and Todd!

Mystic recap

No regular post today because I'm in court covering a trial all day.
So, instead here's a quick look at golf predictions.

1. Spot on! Not only did jimmy have to leave early "to meet a buddy"
but he arrived late, too! He's gonna wear that thing out!
2. I don't know how the carrot was waxed, but I was at least partly
right
3,4,5. Kudos to Simon
6-10- I was a little off, except for Rookie Henry's tears!

Sent from my iPhone

WWJD - What Would Jonah Do

Golf and sodomy

Alas, this weekend I will not be able to make it the Olde Grey Invitation Pub Golf Challenge (sponsored by barf-off -- Barf-off: for all your vomit cleaning needs!)

Instead of traipsing around bars in the Vista, I will be in N.C. at my brother-in-laws' wedding. I haven't played pub golf in many, many years, but I have only been to one gay wedding before, so that won out!
I had thought about communicating by phone and joining on on the action but i thought it a might uncivilized during the reception!

Anyway, as I will not be at Golf this weekend I decided to make a few predictions that I foresee happening at some point on Saturday night:

-- Mystic Mike sees Jimmy "having to go meet a buddy," and leaving the course with Elaine (boring sex will ensue).
-- Mystic Mike predicts El Presidente finds some girl who is vaguely interested in him and he will leave the group, spend hours with her, buy her drinks... and still end up drunkenly waxing his own carrot.
-- Mystic Mike predicts Stumpy will get pissed off.
-- Mystic Mike predicts Simone will antagonize Stumpy.
-- Anyone could predict Simone and Stumpy will fight, ruining the evening for both of them and anyone engaged in conversation near them.
-- Mystic Mike predicts two Hinks will enter, one will barf.
-- Mystic Mike predicts a poor turnout.
-- Mystic Mike predicts he will get drunk, call a golfer and make crude jokes about the wedding!
-- Mystic Mike predicts Chris Henry will barf/run away crying first.
-- Mystic Mike predicts bombshell-on-bombshell love will be well accepted!

The Camo Rule

From the BBC's Web site Zero tolerance on mauls and rucks Referees have been told to adopt a zero tolerance policy towards reckless play following a series of high-profile incidents in recent years. The most serious was the death of Neath scrum-half Gareth Jones last season. The Cardiff player subsequently cited was cleared by the Welsh Rugby Union. Now the International Rugby Board (IRB) wants to rid the game of the clearing-out practice at rucks. The IRB has issued a memo to all member unions ordering the tough stance. It will be introduced at this weekend's start to the new season. Neath captain Lee Beach welcomed the new law. "The rule that you can't come in and shoulder challenge is good," he said. "I used to do it in the past. "Now either players will get sent off or penalised for it and hopefully the referees will take that on board." The IRB made the decision after taking advice from the medical and legal professions. "There is a growing concern...about the conduct of players when entering rucks and mauls...which is considered dangerous," David Carrigy of the IRB said in the memo. Officials are being instructed to adopt zero tolerance to any player charging into a ruck or maul who is not bound to a team-mate as the laws require. This is a change in interpretation that could prove as significant as the new experimental law variations. They will also clamp down on players who clear out opponents not involved in a ruck or maul. IRB referees' manager Paddy O'Brien said: "The law is there to protect players and we felt referees weren't applying the law as strictly or stringently as we should be. "Every game you watch at any level, there are players who are entering breakdowns with no respect for the body of the player they are going to clean out as some call it. "It is not cleaning out, it is foul play." Wales captain Ryan Jones was injured in the Six Nations match against Ireland last season following reckless play by Bernard Jackman. And in the Tri Nations, Australia's Stirling Mortlock was injured by a challenge from South Africa's Bakkies Botha. Pontypridd captain Nathan Strong said the rule was "good for the game," but added: "These are one-off incidents and rugby is a physical game. "I enjoyed flying into rucks trying to clean out the competition. "If the ball is on the floor, the competition is there for it." The Welsh Rugby Union cleared Cardiff centre Darren Ryan of reckless play after he was cited over the incident involving Gareth Jones in May.

The Olde Grey Moving Test

I just wanted to write a quick post to acknowledge the folks who helped me move this weekend. I know how much it sucks to move, and I know how much crap I have. So thank you to everyone who came out.
Thanks to Mike Matese -- who almost died during the process; Foxy -- who almost died watching the game that night and to Jim Feeney -- who almost died when Runyon fell asleep on his face!

I also wanted to make a special mention of those guys who committed to help but could not due to unusual circumstances.

Chris Henry unfortunately came down with nasty case of Lymp-Finn Syndrome. It is a nasty ailment that makes parts of the body flaccid and unusable around Sharks or Sharkey in appearance creatures.


David Young's is a horrible, but not unusual for him, case. While spending 6 or 7 hours scissoring with Philly on Thursday a great deal of sand was transferred. The sheer weight stretched Mr. Young's vaginal walls to breaking point -- but he did not know this -- unfortunately for Young.
After he watched his alma mater's crushing defeat and realized his team's only Division 1 winning moment was in 2007, he spent 3-4 hours on the floor, curled up in the fetal position.
When he went to stand up, the sand had settled and as a result the weight caused his entire reproductive system to be torn out of his body. (It's what West Virginian's call a "Beach Hysterectomy!")
The upside is that David is now a man. Having removed all of his female "attributes" he has gone from "he/she" to simple "he?" -- congrats David.

Jim "the Scrum Madge" died Saturday morning. He was 67 (stone).

IRB strikes while the Olympic iron is still hot

Letters, letters, letters.. or at least letters, letters.

So I think I have arrived in the world of blogging.

Not only have I had correspondence from a body I have written about, USA Rugby, but now I am getting hate mail!
Yesterday my mailbox was swamped by a pair of letters upset at my "awful use on language" and "outrageous, bigoted and hateful attacks on someone purely because of their religious beliefs!!!"
These poor unknowing, hebe-loving, clam-lapping whores who need to go shtup themselves were actually standing up for poor, defenseless Fitness Coach/ Vice Fuhrer Captain Kvetch Silverstein -- better known to most as our little bubbee Philly!
(No offense meant to the general muff-diving population)

I kid you not, I received two emails, one from Joanne in Michigan and another from Rachel in Buffalo (they shared a last name) accusing me of being an anti-Semite because I made religiously based comic gestures towards our favorite future Maccabi Games participant.

Apparently my claims that he (by association) killed Jesus and read left to right and right to left was a slight on Jewish people.

That post nor this are by no means an attack on any Jew -- except Philly!

And, my attack on Philly has nothing to do with his faith and everything to do with the Chinese/Mongolian desert in his Va-Jay-Jay. (sorry Philly, I'm just making a point, not having a go at you!)

In conclusion, ladies, I disagree with your point, but your opinion is valued by everyone here at RuckingRugby.Blogspot.Com. Thank you for reading, keep writing, a sheynem dank,

Mike

p.s. Sorry if my Yiddish is not what it once was!
p.p.s. I promise to get back to rugby tomorrow!

Getting to know The Olde Grey

So today starts a feature I have been planning for this site. "Getting to know The Olde Grey" will periodically feature different members of the team and present a succinct, well-researched profile of them.
For the first, we present your new Vice-President Thomas Bristol. Thom was selected because not many guys seem to know much about him, who he is ... or for that matter care.

Full Name: Thomas "Thom" Mike Hunt Gobblescock Bristol III or "Trey"
Age: 31
Born: StoatShuck, ND
Occupation: Vaginacological Engineer (Fuck and Off Engineering (FANDO))

Thom is a family man who has a wife, Bertha, 72, and a baby girl, Steve, 2. His family have lived in Columbia since the great StoatShuck pickle explosion of 2003. It was a resulting fire (and smell of exploded pickle) in he and Bertha's bedroom that forced them to get a hotel.
Bertha recalls the night, and the romance, with her husband screaming at her, "I paid for this fucking room, now we gotta use it! Now get over here and take off my girdle!"
9 months and a shotgun wedding later, Steve was born.

Ever since Thom was a child he wanted to be an engineer, but it was not until he graduated from Southeastern West North Dakota Technical Academy with his associates in quilting that he learned what that meant. Previously Tom believe "engineers" were confined to ridding on the back of Thomas and Friends" and filling them with coal.

Thom now drives Percy.

Unusual Facts

- Thom is one of only two men to take his wife's name through marriage. Surprisingly being christened Thomas Mike Hunt Gobblescock led to a great deal of teasing at school.
-Thom was meant to compete in the Beijing Olympics as a skier, however his inability to ski hindered preparations.
-Steve was widely-reported to be the biggest baby to be born in 2004, weighing in at a hefty 199 Kg. However, this was simply a mix up converting the 19 lbs 12 oz child's weight to metric. Thom delivered the healthy girl via Penis-section.
-Thom guest starred on Bonanza as an arm chair in one episode and as Chief Leeka Nutwice in another. He was scalped and murdered in both.
-Thom co-wrote Jurasic Park with Michael Creighton.

Rugby Development in Columbia

From USA Rugby:

BOULDER, Colo. – USA Rugby officially released its Coach Development Workshop schedule for the upcoming season. These workshops will enable coaches to gain their USA Rugby certification in many locations around the country/

Developing Rugby Skills: The emphasis of this workshop is on practice planning, game sense, and skill development. This workshop is designed for coaches focused on working with experienced players that aspire to compete at a higher level. The course work is ideal for head coaches and those that are involved in club, Super League and all-star play.

Nov 22-23, 2008 Columbia, SC Developing Rugby Skills

It's going to be held at the Essie May Washington-Williams Strom Thurmond Health and Fitness Center and will run all day Saturday and Sunday.

ELV - A Story of Things I Thought I Would Hate... but don't

The Experimental Law Variations came into effect August 1, so a mere 4 weeks later, I figured I should have a look at them.
I' m not going to go through each one and spell out what they are. I will outline and give my thoughts. If you need to know more look here.

Before I start, I have to say that I am a fat bastard of a forward and these rules are not designed for me or internationals like Italy's Pavarotti or Uganda's Kamala. They are laws for the fairies; rules to make the game more open, faster and have more fluid movement.
Like any movie on Lifetime where Tori Spelling or Kelly from Saved by The Bell gets raped or knocked up these "variations" are made for TV. This is strange because I believe World Cup 2007 killed on TV worldwide! Anyway...

Assistant Referee
Any additional refereeing on the field is good, unless you are Camo or CJ van der Linde.
Especially when our local guy is the ever-inept John Myers.
I will add that anyone who wonders if this post will upset/piss off Myers needs to understand that he is legally blind and so cannot see this page. (I do not allow for it be translated into braille, either). Also, he is legally retarded and cannot read!

Mauls
So we can now take down a maul, but only through hold your opponent between the shoulders and hips.
Does it seem to anyone else there is going to be a great increase in the number of people being suplexed off of the maul.
One thing that this is certainly going to do is halt a lot of slow, grinding plays (and break a lot of legs) and force teams (I hope Olde Grey) to use dynamic, rolling forms.
This will make the maul more useful as it is not just a fat guy pushing his team down the field (see Charlotte B in Columbia slop) and will be used to change directions and sides of the field of play.

Scrum
With five meters space, the scrum could really turn into a place where No. 10 can shine, even if they were home schooled.
The biggest difference with the extra space is going to be those just off the pack getting their chance to run and create from an almost set play. Of coarse, this means there is extra pressure to win good ball.
It must be noted that because of the added offensive value this is going to give to scrums all people who knock the ball on will be dealt with in the same way certain middle eastern countries deal with thieves.
Anyway, this extra space is also going to be a grubber's dream. Near the oppositions 22, a quick diagonal kick past a charging line could be great to watch.

Behind the 22
No longer can you just hoof it out from your behind your own 22 and gain some ground. Kick it to wherever you like, it's coming back unless it hits the ground first!
Love This
No more tennis matches between fullbacks.
If one rule will force more quality, watchable rugby it is this. No more relying on an average boot you have to now defend and build a real counter-attack.

Lineouts
Again, no more long kicks into touch -- from anywhere. If you do a good fullback will simply gather the ball and spin it out to his supporting backs long before the line is set.
I have always hated matching up the numbers on lineouts, we forwards are not in there for our ability to count, read or drink without spilling. We are there to fight for the ball. I just like being given options. If you want to concede the ball and play defense you should be able. If you really want to attack the throw with numbers -- you can.
The most sensible of these laws is to put on the books that grabbing shorts, legs, balls or Prince Albert's before the ball comes in is legal. This has been done for years and is just a part of the game.

Not my post for the day, but worth reading!

JOHANNESBURG (AFP) - South Africa tighthead prop CJ van der Linde has been handed a four-week ban stemming from last Saturday's Tri-Nations Test between the world champions and Australia in Durban.

Van der Linde and the Bok management team received the news on Tuesday following a hearing in Durban on Monday.

The World Cup winning prop was found guilty of dangerous play at a ruck after striking Australia scrumhalf Sam Cordingley with his head during Saturday's match. He has been suspended from all rugby until September 22.

Australia won the match 27-15, their first victory in South Africa since 2000.

They face the Springboks again in Johannesburg this weekend, before returning home to complete their Tri-Nations schedule against New Zealand in Brisbane on September 13.

You know God hates you when...

So this is one of those posts where I don't really talk about rugby at all, but rather use this space just to bitch about the fact the the world is filled with god-damned, donkey-fucking whores.
I know I should probably make fun of the annual meeting that we Olde Grey had last night. But like making fun of folk singers or quadriplegic midgets -- it's just too easy!

Anyway, so as many know I have been looking for a good job since November of last year.
I have applied to work for several State agencies and most of the applications have gone the same way.
Step 1. Online application
Step 2. Wait for the next ice age
Step 3. get a call for an interview
Step 4. Interview goes very well
Step 5. Invited back for a second interview
Step 6. Interview goes very well
Step 7. "Thanks for coming in, we will get the HR stuff sorted then we will give you a call. We will let you know either way!"
Step 8. Silence.

So for several months I was thinking how can I get to so many second interviews, and seem to fit the position so well, but then when the background check etc. was done I was dismissed.
Now I know it is an easy thing to say "We'll let you know either way," to a person you will never see again, but it just seemed to happen to people I had a real relationship with!
(I must introduce here that I understand there are many relationships in which a bond is formed and then you never call the bitch again, but this is business not skank banging!)

I would understand that after first seeing my large exterior, green skin and foul breath many may chase me away back to my swamp. But as many a skank has found out, if you get passed that, I can be a nice guy (That evening.)

So anyway, this lack of call backs was bugging me and I have the worst luck in the world (look what I have to stick my head between on Saturdays if you don't believe me!)! So, I decided to make sure nothing I didn't know about was fucking me... I even went as far as to question if I still had a degree (I do, I checked!)
Nothing seemed wrong, so I just assumed I am a huge fuck-up..................

Then, my very average job tells me I need to provide a driving record. I call up, get the record, hand it over to my boss and think nothing of it.
The next morning (about a week ago as I write this) I get a dozen crazy calls from my boss, his boss and associated HR bitches.
"You have to come in, you can't drive for the company until we figure this out."
So it turns out something may have been wrong. Something like two felony "Failure to Appear" warrants from Georgia and a driving license that was suspended --- a FUCKING YEAR AGO!!!
I felt like a Bortins in a public school -- I just couldn't imagine what horrible things had happened to get me here!

So a big, pissed off, possibly criminal Gellatly got on the phone to Floyd County, Ga and the DM-fuckin'-V!

Guess what, it was total bullshit.

Around a year ago I got in a wreck.
As innocent as a lamb, I was driving courteously down a road in Rome only pausing to allow the elderly to cross the road and picking wild flowers to give to disabled orphans. Then, out of nowhere a calous brute of a Neon came hurtling thorough an intersection and killed me and my family.
The police, however, viewed it as me running a stop sign and that my family are fine.

This set the following chain reaction of Gellatly ass-rape into motion!

I got a ticket for the wreck- then - I paid the ticket- then- City hall did not tell the court I had paid my ticket - then- I get a failure to appear warrant - then - I never receive a summons because the warrant was never valid - so - I fail to appear and they both become felony warrants - so my license is suspended, I am a fugitive. Let joy be unconfined!!!

I am not in HR but i have been told this sort of thing doesn't look good when it comes up on a background check!
I hate Georgia more than Philly hates a herring, milk and bacon smoothies and Coleman hates State-funded schools!

So in the end, all is well. Except I write this at the desk of my not-so-great job where I earn half that of the cunts who got the positions I wanted!
Sorry this post has been a mess, not very funny and a waste of productive work time. But oh well, at least you didn't get your right nut caught in the leaf of a dinning table Saturday. Oh, wait that was me! (I am not kidding, I have a sack-tear!)