Getting to know The Olde Grey

In the second installment of this feature, we will take a look at another member of the Justice League (Executive Committee). This will focus on our fearless leader -- Foxy.

Full Name: Matthew Queball Terwilliger Jeff Foxworthy, Jr.
Age: 46 3/8
Born: Intercourse, Pa
Occupation: Freelance unlicensed veterinary urologist/ Pharmaceutical Test subject

Matthew Foxworthy was born in Intercourse, though ironically his parents have never done the horizontal mambo-- or fucked.
He was the worlds first baby created through the use of a wooden fake vagina, a turkey baster and a catapult. The second baby born in this way (nine days later) was his identical twin brother -- actor Chris Tucker.

At an early age, Matthew showed that he was really going to excel at school when at only 17 years old he graduated Jnr. High. It only took six more years and some compromising photographs of Danny Ford for Matthew to be accepted at Clemson University (then known as Central Northern South Carolina Farm and Clown Community College).

After graduating Matthew learned of the Vietnam war and decided to become a conscientious objector and fled to Canada. Never having studied Geography or History, it was three years -- two spent in Tijuana -- that he learned the war had been over for 20-years and that Canadians did not speak Spanish nor would have had reason to employ someone as a donkey show janitor.

After returning to South Carolina, Matthew continued his (unpaid, unwanted) work with animals, though he has since moved away from (donkey) Show Business.

Unusual facts:
-- Foxy has four nipples
-- Foxy is one stamp on his loyalty card away from getting a free penicillin shot at the VD clinic
-- Foxy enjoys listening to his roommate banging overweight white girls
-- Foxy is allergic to sober women
-- Foxy's nickname is derived not from a truncation of Foxworthy but because he was Beyonce's understudy for the character Foxxy Cleopatra in the third Austin Powers movie.
-- Foxy discovered the element Bohrium