Monkey be gone! Chucktown downed!

After a career-long wait, Olde Grey overcome rivals to start 2009 Matrix

Columbia, S.C. -- Taking the first step towards their lofty goals for 2009, Columbia's Olde Grey clinched their first victory of the season, and first over their arch rivals in eight years.
Columbia (1-0) triumphed over the Charleston Outlaws (0-1) in a hard-fought, at-times scrappy 12-11 game played at Owen's Field.

Second half tries from Captain John Hinks and fullback "Clemson" Rob Bortins, as well as some stout defensive play, saw-off the foot-first attack of the State Champion Outlaws.

A physical encounter, the game was marked more through early-season mistakes and blood-subs rather than exquisite rugby.
Whatever the standard, Columbia will not give back this victory over their rivals who have dominated the encounter in recent years.

The visitors opened the scoring early in the first half through a Brian Wilson try. The lead would stay at 5-0 after the normally sure-footed wing Chris Sigmund missed from the right side.

The score stayed the same until the half, with neither team carving out much of an advantage.

In the second, Columbia took back the game, and the lead. A breakaway down the right, saw Bortins pitching to a supporting Hinks who powered the ball over the line for Columbia's first try of the year. Colby Wright converted from close to the touchline for the 7-5 lead.

This advantage was quickly erased as Sigmund put a 25-yard penalty through the uprights five later to give the Outlaws back the lead. The wing would score again late on for Charleston, but would also, crucially, miss a third.
Throughout the game, the Outlaws seemed to lack the "pop" that has been the hallmark of their backs in recent years. After the match, many Outlaws voiced concerns over recent coaching changes and the exit of Chris "Taffy" Greenslade.

Throughout the match, Olde Grey showed great organization on set-pieces, taking the majority of balls thrown-in by either side from the line and, after some early problems, commanded the scrum.
It was a right-side lineout that led to, what turned out to be, Columbia's winning try.
Spread out from some nice clean ball off-the-top, the home team's backs found a whole in Charleston's line. Keeping possession through a couple of recycles, Bortins was eventually was set free and touched-down just outside the left post. Kicking into a stiff wind, Wright's attempted conversion missed right and Columbia's final score was set.

The one-point victory was loudly celebrated by Columbia, but was not their last on the day.
In the B-side game, Columbia again triumphed, putting five scores past Outlaw's B's.
Charleston has always hyped their B-side's efforts, claiming they went undefeated in 2008.

Columbia's next match comes this weekend against Wilmington, N.C. opponents Cape Fear. Charleston take on the Augusta Maddogs in Charleston.

RIP: Chris Henry -- Gone and Dead To Us All

The eternal rookie has left us all for a better place to meet the eternal father.

Christopher Adolphus Fishnet Liknut Henry, 25, former Autism advocate and later sell-out, passed away into death last week following a courageous battle with rugby-related ineptitude.

He was born Sept. 1 1984 in 'Taintesville, S.C. to a hot Mom and transient Guatemalan laborer known only as "Guava."
He attended A.C. Flora High School in Columbia where he flourished in his studies, but was socially "retarded," according to friends, witnesses and experts.
After 6 1/2 years he graduated without honors and moved on to The University of South Carolina. Chris studied History, or some other crap, and graduated in 2008 with a GPA of 2.00000013.

In 2007, Cunt-Ris began working as a software developer for company to help kids with Ass-Burger Disease and The Autism.
As soon as a reasonable offer came from a non-good cause, Chr-unt abandoned these 'tards, sold-out and went for the money like the whore he has always been. He moved from Columbia S.C. into death.

Better known to his friends as "Limp-Fin Soup", The Ladies found Chris a polite and mannerly lover, despite a general lack of enthusiasm for the erotic arts. Amongst his many conquests, Chriz-unt listed movie stars, First Ladies, Golden Girls and members of Norwegian Parliament. In actuality, the poor, lonely, sad computer-geek has only ever penetrated three individuals, if you include his mom at birth -- which he does.

In 2007, Chris found a new love, that of playing rugby -- or at least practicing and watching it from the sidelines. Many have spoken of how terrible he really was on the pitch, but the statistic speak where facts cannot.
Chris' only club, The Columbia Olde Grey, never lost a competitive match in which he played 65 minutes or more. The Olde Grey won a national championship every year in which he featured in each game.

Utterly lacking in athletic ability did not stop Chris competing in top level online auctions for rugby apparel and DVDs. Nor did it impede him traveling long distances to sit on the sideline of games.

No funeral services have been planned for Limp-Fin. In lieu of flowers, donations are being accepted for the newly created ChrisHenry Rugby'tard Institute.

Chris is gone and will not be remembered.

Good Lord...

... it's been a month since I've written anything!!!

Anyway, not long until the start of the Matrix fixtures -- which have finally been posted on USA Rugby South.

Who doesn't love a first game of the season Columbia Vs Charleston match?

Anyway, word to your mother. Knee is getting better, but is still not great. Go Rhino!

How to start a game!

The following is a couple of weeks old, but i wasn't sure if this had penetrated in US rugby news.

Before the Wales Vs All Blacks game there were rumors that the Welsh would have some sort of response to the Haka.
There was no dance-related response, but this is the way to face off versus the All Blacks, or any other team.



Pity in the end the sheep-shagging, daffodil-dicked, leek-munchers couldn't put the ball across the 'Blacks line all game and lost by three scores!

Injury and Apology

So, I know it has been about a two weeks since I have posted, and for that I apologize.

In a shitty game versus Savannah on Nov. 15, I fucked my left knee and haven't been around rugby since. As a result, I didn't feel it correct to write about my team when I haven't been around practice or other related activities.
Actually, my knee isn't as bad as both I and the Athletic Trainer on the side of the pitch first thought, but it's still not great.
I have torn my MCL, but not completely, so it will heal itself.
When I first hurt it I thought about writing a log of my recovery over the weeks, but since I should be back on the field in 8-10 weeks and there is no surgery involved, it simply wouldn't be that interesting.
Also, I think this was just an excuse to post pictures of my X-rays. I love X-rays of my left knee because I have two huge screws in it from the first time I killed it when I was 17.
Since I hurt myself I have thought about several topics, however they just didn't seem worthy of my time.

I was going to write about Scotland playing in the Fall Test Series -- but how many times can you write that Scotland played up to the standard of superior opposition and still ended up losing... oh yeah and conquered the might of the maple syrup-eating, Mounty-lovin', rugby-suckin' Hosers from America's toupee.

I was also going to rant about people making fun of the size of my crutches -- but even railing against that gets old!

Anyway, I am back... if you care.

IRB asks about ELVs

Those thoughtful folks at USA Rugby sent me a lovely letter this morning. Unlike many of them, this one was fairly interesting and is discussing, yet again, the Experimental Law Variations (ELVs). They are looking for an opinion on the impact they are having, or lack thereof.

Obviously they have not been paying enough attention to The Olde Grey Thistle Fest whose online poll showed the overwhelming belief that they have, as they were intended to do, opened up the game.
The poll also showed a great love and affection for those guys with whistle. God Bless You, Sir!

Dear USA Rugby Members,

As a valued member of our Union, I would like to offer you the opportunity to take part in an important research study being conducted by the IRB into attitudes toward the Experimental Law Variations (ELVs), which are currently being trialled.

The study is being conducted across 14 individual unions worldwide. The objective of the study is to gather the opinions of players, coaches and officials on the ELVs. The findings from this study will feed directly into the IRB’s review of the ELVs in early 2009.

For the purposes of this study the research is being conducted by TNS mrbi, an independent market research based in Dublin, Ireland. The TNS group has a strong track record in providing valuable research for many of the world’s leading sports organizations, including The Premiership (in the UK), UEFA and FIFA.

You may be selected to take part, and if contacted, USA Rugby would very much appreciate if you participated. The research will involve an online survey that will take approximately 10 minutes to fill out at a time and place convenient to you. The views of each individual taking part in the study will be merged with the views of all other respondents in a final report – individual views will be maintained as absolutely confidential. The survey therefore represents an ideal opportunity for you to express your views, in the knowledge that your identity will never be disclosed.

Should you wish to opt-out from being contacted for this survey, please click here to have your information removed from the pool of participants by Monday, November 17. Your name will then be removed from any list that will be forwarded onto the research agency to take part in this study.

As with all TNS mrbi research, this study will be conducted in accordance with the Code of Conduct of ESOMAR, the World Association of Opinion and Market Research Professionals. You will only be contacted to take part in this specific study and will not be contacted again by TNS mrbi in relation to any other studies without the prior agreement from our organization. Please feel free to view USA Rugby’s complete Privacy Policy.

Many thanks in anticipation and kindest regards,

Kristin Richeimer

Director, Membership Relations

Nicknames

So I was having a look at a certain rugby message board today and was bored by the names I saw there.
I'm not saying I thought more people should post things, I'm not saying I didn't want to see a particular name. I was just bored with the names.

It seemed to me that my rugby club is lacking in nicknames. Quality, original, funny nicknames that make the monotony of remembering each of the ugly, uninteresting bastards I play with a little more bearable!

So, I thought this would be the perfect space to write these things down and any reasoning behind them.

Obviously, in this space I have coined a number of Noms De Rugby for my friends.
- PunchedBaby
- Kvetch Silverstein/ Third Favorite/ Mr. Maccabees
- Krusty
- Stuffer

I just feel we need to make more of an effort for nicknames. I must add now, I will not give myself a pseudonym because that is what fuckwits do -- never give yourself a nickname! Can you hear me "Outlaw?!"

I will not attach names to these, but if you can't figure them out ask me and I will explain!
Anyway, I have a few suggestions, some of the references are dated, but isn't that the fun -- to drag up old, hilarious, things:
- Runyon Rougher (shortened to Rougher)
- BJ (hilariously shortened from Bob Jones)
- Bristols (Cockney rhyming slang: Bristol City = Titty eg "Check out the Bristols on 'er")

There are many more, but I have to work....