Monkey be gone! Chucktown downed!

After a career-long wait, Olde Grey overcome rivals to start 2009 Matrix

Columbia, S.C. -- Taking the first step towards their lofty goals for 2009, Columbia's Olde Grey clinched their first victory of the season, and first over their arch rivals in eight years.
Columbia (1-0) triumphed over the Charleston Outlaws (0-1) in a hard-fought, at-times scrappy 12-11 game played at Owen's Field.

Second half tries from Captain John Hinks and fullback "Clemson" Rob Bortins, as well as some stout defensive play, saw-off the foot-first attack of the State Champion Outlaws.

A physical encounter, the game was marked more through early-season mistakes and blood-subs rather than exquisite rugby.
Whatever the standard, Columbia will not give back this victory over their rivals who have dominated the encounter in recent years.

The visitors opened the scoring early in the first half through a Brian Wilson try. The lead would stay at 5-0 after the normally sure-footed wing Chris Sigmund missed from the right side.

The score stayed the same until the half, with neither team carving out much of an advantage.

In the second, Columbia took back the game, and the lead. A breakaway down the right, saw Bortins pitching to a supporting Hinks who powered the ball over the line for Columbia's first try of the year. Colby Wright converted from close to the touchline for the 7-5 lead.

This advantage was quickly erased as Sigmund put a 25-yard penalty through the uprights five later to give the Outlaws back the lead. The wing would score again late on for Charleston, but would also, crucially, miss a third.
Throughout the game, the Outlaws seemed to lack the "pop" that has been the hallmark of their backs in recent years. After the match, many Outlaws voiced concerns over recent coaching changes and the exit of Chris "Taffy" Greenslade.

Throughout the match, Olde Grey showed great organization on set-pieces, taking the majority of balls thrown-in by either side from the line and, after some early problems, commanded the scrum.
It was a right-side lineout that led to, what turned out to be, Columbia's winning try.
Spread out from some nice clean ball off-the-top, the home team's backs found a whole in Charleston's line. Keeping possession through a couple of recycles, Bortins was eventually was set free and touched-down just outside the left post. Kicking into a stiff wind, Wright's attempted conversion missed right and Columbia's final score was set.

The one-point victory was loudly celebrated by Columbia, but was not their last on the day.
In the B-side game, Columbia again triumphed, putting five scores past Outlaw's B's.
Charleston has always hyped their B-side's efforts, claiming they went undefeated in 2008.

Columbia's next match comes this weekend against Wilmington, N.C. opponents Cape Fear. Charleston take on the Augusta Maddogs in Charleston.

RIP: Chris Henry -- Gone and Dead To Us All

The eternal rookie has left us all for a better place to meet the eternal father.

Christopher Adolphus Fishnet Liknut Henry, 25, former Autism advocate and later sell-out, passed away into death last week following a courageous battle with rugby-related ineptitude.

He was born Sept. 1 1984 in 'Taintesville, S.C. to a hot Mom and transient Guatemalan laborer known only as "Guava."
He attended A.C. Flora High School in Columbia where he flourished in his studies, but was socially "retarded," according to friends, witnesses and experts.
After 6 1/2 years he graduated without honors and moved on to The University of South Carolina. Chris studied History, or some other crap, and graduated in 2008 with a GPA of 2.00000013.

In 2007, Cunt-Ris began working as a software developer for company to help kids with Ass-Burger Disease and The Autism.
As soon as a reasonable offer came from a non-good cause, Chr-unt abandoned these 'tards, sold-out and went for the money like the whore he has always been. He moved from Columbia S.C. into death.

Better known to his friends as "Limp-Fin Soup", The Ladies found Chris a polite and mannerly lover, despite a general lack of enthusiasm for the erotic arts. Amongst his many conquests, Chriz-unt listed movie stars, First Ladies, Golden Girls and members of Norwegian Parliament. In actuality, the poor, lonely, sad computer-geek has only ever penetrated three individuals, if you include his mom at birth -- which he does.

In 2007, Chris found a new love, that of playing rugby -- or at least practicing and watching it from the sidelines. Many have spoken of how terrible he really was on the pitch, but the statistic speak where facts cannot.
Chris' only club, The Columbia Olde Grey, never lost a competitive match in which he played 65 minutes or more. The Olde Grey won a national championship every year in which he featured in each game.

Utterly lacking in athletic ability did not stop Chris competing in top level online auctions for rugby apparel and DVDs. Nor did it impede him traveling long distances to sit on the sideline of games.

No funeral services have been planned for Limp-Fin. In lieu of flowers, donations are being accepted for the newly created ChrisHenry Rugby'tard Institute.

Chris is gone and will not be remembered.