Write-in Campaign - Vote Now, Vote Hard

Not happy with making a mockery of Olde Grey Rugby and the game in general, I have decided to take my (lack of) respect for the best things in life a step further.

As I write this (3:26 p.m. Nov. 4) I am waging a write-in campaign to become the Solicitor for South Carolina's Second Judicial Circuit! (SJC)

Genesis
When I got back to my desk from an interview yesterday, there was a voicemail left on my office phone from an unknown man.
He told me that he was going to write me in as his candidate for Solicitor over the only other name on the ballot -- James Strom Thurmond Jr.
(Solicitor is District Attorney for my Non-SC, Non-Brit readers.)
I have no idea who the caller was, or why he would decide that I was the one he was going to vote for, but one thing is clear-- he is America's Greatest Hero!!!

Democracy in Action
After i got the phone call I realized one thing -- I HAD BEEN CHOSEN BY GOD TO RUN!!!
My epiphany guiding me I set out to spread the word of Aiken, Bamberg and Barnwell Counties' residents of their new criminal prosecutorial god -- me!
When i say i let the residents of the SJC know, I mean I made fun of this idiot around my newsroom. Hearing the gospel/voicemail according to Crazyperson, several of my colleagues decided that they would join the charge!

Why Did God Choose Me?
Being part of the Liberal Media Elite, obviously, most of my newsroom are bleeding-heart, liberal lettuce-eating Commies.
Despite his family’s well-documented love for the dark meat, Strom II is running on the Republican ticket.
Looking for any reason to be contrarian to quality, responsible Government provided by Conservatives/Facists my fellow Journalists were looking for someone slightly to the left -- enter (potential) Solicitor-Elect Gellatly.

Victory Assured?
Admittedly there are still a couple of stumbling blocks before my rise to power and the $147k salary that goes with it (That's David Young money!!!).
Firstly, my campaign started late in the evening of Nov. 3rd.
Second, I am not sure that i qualify to serve as I do not live in the SJC, nor am I a citizen of The United States of America.
Thirdly, members of my own family do not know how to spell my name!


Vote Gellatly for a ridiculously corrupt Aiken, Barnwell and Bamberg!