You know God hates you when...

So this is one of those posts where I don't really talk about rugby at all, but rather use this space just to bitch about the fact the the world is filled with god-damned, donkey-fucking whores.
I know I should probably make fun of the annual meeting that we Olde Grey had last night. But like making fun of folk singers or quadriplegic midgets -- it's just too easy!

Anyway, so as many know I have been looking for a good job since November of last year.
I have applied to work for several State agencies and most of the applications have gone the same way.
Step 1. Online application
Step 2. Wait for the next ice age
Step 3. get a call for an interview
Step 4. Interview goes very well
Step 5. Invited back for a second interview
Step 6. Interview goes very well
Step 7. "Thanks for coming in, we will get the HR stuff sorted then we will give you a call. We will let you know either way!"
Step 8. Silence.

So for several months I was thinking how can I get to so many second interviews, and seem to fit the position so well, but then when the background check etc. was done I was dismissed.
Now I know it is an easy thing to say "We'll let you know either way," to a person you will never see again, but it just seemed to happen to people I had a real relationship with!
(I must introduce here that I understand there are many relationships in which a bond is formed and then you never call the bitch again, but this is business not skank banging!)

I would understand that after first seeing my large exterior, green skin and foul breath many may chase me away back to my swamp. But as many a skank has found out, if you get passed that, I can be a nice guy (That evening.)

So anyway, this lack of call backs was bugging me and I have the worst luck in the world (look what I have to stick my head between on Saturdays if you don't believe me!)! So, I decided to make sure nothing I didn't know about was fucking me... I even went as far as to question if I still had a degree (I do, I checked!)
Nothing seemed wrong, so I just assumed I am a huge fuck-up..................

Then, my very average job tells me I need to provide a driving record. I call up, get the record, hand it over to my boss and think nothing of it.
The next morning (about a week ago as I write this) I get a dozen crazy calls from my boss, his boss and associated HR bitches.
"You have to come in, you can't drive for the company until we figure this out."
So it turns out something may have been wrong. Something like two felony "Failure to Appear" warrants from Georgia and a driving license that was suspended --- a FUCKING YEAR AGO!!!
I felt like a Bortins in a public school -- I just couldn't imagine what horrible things had happened to get me here!

So a big, pissed off, possibly criminal Gellatly got on the phone to Floyd County, Ga and the DM-fuckin'-V!

Guess what, it was total bullshit.

Around a year ago I got in a wreck.
As innocent as a lamb, I was driving courteously down a road in Rome only pausing to allow the elderly to cross the road and picking wild flowers to give to disabled orphans. Then, out of nowhere a calous brute of a Neon came hurtling thorough an intersection and killed me and my family.
The police, however, viewed it as me running a stop sign and that my family are fine.

This set the following chain reaction of Gellatly ass-rape into motion!

I got a ticket for the wreck- then - I paid the ticket- then- City hall did not tell the court I had paid my ticket - then- I get a failure to appear warrant - then - I never receive a summons because the warrant was never valid - so - I fail to appear and they both become felony warrants - so my license is suspended, I am a fugitive. Let joy be unconfined!!!

I am not in HR but i have been told this sort of thing doesn't look good when it comes up on a background check!
I hate Georgia more than Philly hates a herring, milk and bacon smoothies and Coleman hates State-funded schools!

So in the end, all is well. Except I write this at the desk of my not-so-great job where I earn half that of the cunts who got the positions I wanted!
Sorry this post has been a mess, not very funny and a waste of productive work time. But oh well, at least you didn't get your right nut caught in the leaf of a dinning table Saturday. Oh, wait that was me! (I am not kidding, I have a sack-tear!)