... and who knows how to throw a pool party like the English! When you think sassanac you think Sun and fun!
But ahead of this momentous event, RuckingRugby takes a look at the candidates that seem to be in place (or are rumored to be in place) to be the next on-filed general.
The Scots and the English, at a national and club level, place too much emphasis on team captains, but it can be an important part of a rugby team. I do not mean to disrespect anyone who is not listed, I just don't have knowledge of everyone who wants to be Cap.
Anyway....
1. Kremlick - Often mistaken for a junky -- due to needle supply -- Jeff was very effective as a pack leader at times this year.
Pros- Solid, experienced player with a voice on field; hot wife; hard worker
Cons- Hands of stone and gravel; insulin production; ridiculous hair and dog
2. Gooldy - A selfless player who offers more than just on the field play. An "experienced" player
Pros- Unselfish rugger who is all over the field rucking and running; Free Chiro; RV
Cons- About as lucky catching a pass as he is banging 18-year-olds at socials; very old
3. John Hinks - The best second row in the region.
Pros - A drive to win; pent up sexual energy can be transfered to pitch; Lake house
Cons - Face like a punched baby
4. Philly - This will be Philly's last season at the top level -- I think -- and so he will be more driven than usual.
Pros - Experienced scrummy; world-class body hair; game general; can read L-R and R-L
Cons- Gobi desert in his vagina; temper; killed Jesus (by association)
5. Clemson Rob - Good, young player who can improve his line as he does.
Pros - Good voice on the field; drive to improve backs; wants to lead
Cons - Home-schooled
6. Young - The best defensive player we have and no regard for his personal safety.
Pros - Made the salary database; fearless defender; team leader
Cons - Poor choice of automobiles
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The pundits are saying that Philly could really pull in the undecided voters with a liberal application of Nair before he hits the pool Sunday.
Also, take into consideration the independent voters who may very well write in another legitimate candidate like Kremlick's dog Calvin, or the big Scot who likes to rub his head with Vaseline before games.
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