Getting to know The Olde Grey

So today starts a feature I have been planning for this site. "Getting to know The Olde Grey" will periodically feature different members of the team and present a succinct, well-researched profile of them.
For the first, we present your new Vice-President Thomas Bristol. Thom was selected because not many guys seem to know much about him, who he is ... or for that matter care.

Full Name: Thomas "Thom" Mike Hunt Gobblescock Bristol III or "Trey"
Age: 31
Born: StoatShuck, ND
Occupation: Vaginacological Engineer (Fuck and Off Engineering (FANDO))

Thom is a family man who has a wife, Bertha, 72, and a baby girl, Steve, 2. His family have lived in Columbia since the great StoatShuck pickle explosion of 2003. It was a resulting fire (and smell of exploded pickle) in he and Bertha's bedroom that forced them to get a hotel.
Bertha recalls the night, and the romance, with her husband screaming at her, "I paid for this fucking room, now we gotta use it! Now get over here and take off my girdle!"
9 months and a shotgun wedding later, Steve was born.

Ever since Thom was a child he wanted to be an engineer, but it was not until he graduated from Southeastern West North Dakota Technical Academy with his associates in quilting that he learned what that meant. Previously Tom believe "engineers" were confined to ridding on the back of Thomas and Friends" and filling them with coal.

Thom now drives Percy.

Unusual Facts

- Thom is one of only two men to take his wife's name through marriage. Surprisingly being christened Thomas Mike Hunt Gobblescock led to a great deal of teasing at school.
-Thom was meant to compete in the Beijing Olympics as a skier, however his inability to ski hindered preparations.
-Steve was widely-reported to be the biggest baby to be born in 2004, weighing in at a hefty 199 Kg. However, this was simply a mix up converting the 19 lbs 12 oz child's weight to metric. Thom delivered the healthy girl via Penis-section.
-Thom guest starred on Bonanza as an arm chair in one episode and as Chief Leeka Nutwice in another. He was scalped and murdered in both.
-Thom co-wrote Jurasic Park with Michael Creighton.